My Thoughts

Those who know me on Twitter know I blog about food, recipes and racy stories; however I was inspired by @crapteacher ‘s blog so here goes.

It was a refreshing change to read something that didn’t slate kids. Unfortunately the media continuously paints a horrific picture of our young people. Yes there are some things that happen that appear unforgiveable but it really is true that no child is born evil. Their behaviour may sometimes result in evil acts but usually due to some sort of mental illness, some of which there are no cures or therapies…the same for adults.

Working in education I had to read reports from schools for permanent exclusions and often found myself howling with laughter.

The first of many was when within a report one of the behaviours listed was a lad who had answered a teacher back in class, nothing unusual there but he commented in French in a French lesson. I wish I could remember what he said but it wasn’t exceptionally rude but obviously annoyed the teacher. This could have been turned around so easily into a positive response at the fact that he had enough knowledge to speak in French!                                                                                                                                                                                                        Obviously this was not the sole reason for the permanent exclusion being sought!

There were many comical retorts I read over the years and I wish I’d written them down but there were the serious issues that could also have been avoided. The verbal exchanges that built up to be aggressive and even physical responses from staff; that resulted in the youngster being penalised.     

If the young person had persistently caused problems and the school had rolled out many support strategies the reports favoured the school but they were few. Many problems could have been resolved either through support or if staff hadn’t been so obsessed with ‘winning’. The art is to come out on top showing you can be the bigger person often by giving options that make it appear it’s the choice of the youngster.

The media paints a bad picture of youngsters and yes it can be difficult for staff in school, I’ve been there but no-one speaks up about the staff treating youngsters badly, either through their attitude, lack of training or unable to cope.

I’ve had to talk to heads and governors about this treatment some of which is actually put on paper…..a court case waiting to happen. Everyone has this perception that discipline has been taken from schools and yes there is no longer corporal punishment but discipline comes from behaviour management. Unfortunately there are staff that ignore TEAM TEACH positive handling and think they can grab, push and man handle youngsters and there are schools that turn a blind eye or are happy to relay expecting no consequences with many negative behaviours escalated when staff can’t let go.                                                                                                                                                                    

Youngsters go into ‘fight or flight’ mode, allow the ‘flight’ and avoid the ‘fight’ …this is the same for parents…another blog again as parental support has to begin at an early age. If it’s safe to let a youngster strop off  then let them go…discussion can take place when both youngster and staff are calm or maybe through another staff member.

There is always a reason behind the behaviour, no not an excuse, a reason and it’s the behaviour that should be addressed especially in language that is used. Remember some of these youngsters spend hours at home being told they are ‘thick’, ‘stupid’, ‘worthless’ and ‘will amount to nothing’…sound bad well many staff use these phrases too. Get told enough that you’re ‘crap, bad, useless’ and that’s what you become. Domestic violence includes emotional abuse and I’m sure we all think that is horrific…so how is this any different…why do some believe youngsters can be used as ‘punching bags’?

When I roll out behaviour management the first thing I do is ask everyone to write down what they want out of life for their children or relatives’ children if they have none. What morals, values and ethics? When complete I ask if something happened to them and someone else brought up their children, what morals, values and ethics would they want that person to have. Well as corporate parent they are that other person and should have decent morals, values and ethics when these youngsters are in their care.

I realise some will think this fine in theory but I have spent years putting theory into practice and prevented many permanent and fixed term exclusions and ensured strategies are rolled out within the home too.

On a lighter note, when I worked in a performing arts school I witnessed some fabulous performances but not without issue. These young people chose to take performing arts and went through a rigorous interview process, parents too. Yet the times during costume rehearsals I heard youngsters whinging about what they had to wear…mainly young girls concerned what they would look like. These were supposed future actors, singers, dancers, etc who had to be reminded that in a theatre or show in ‘the real world’ would not be able to pick and choose.

There were some great theatre productions, musicals, dance and music extravaganzas that were held and I loved being a part of them….not as part of my job but as a mum.

Now I see the results with many prominent actors, singers, musicians and general performers who were former pupils.

Just remember media is about hype not truth and stereotyping and the problematic youngsters really are still the minority and never without reason.

Cooking Lessons

I have decided to start offering cooking lessons.
I have taught members of my family and friends to cook who have never cooked before.
Most recently I  have been teaching autistic teenagers and its been so rewarding.

I can only offer this within a limited area initially although would consider further afield for specific groups.
I am offering either one off lessons or a course within people's homes as I feel this is more appropriate, using familiar equipment; for groups they should provide venues.

I will be happy to teach 1:1, families, groups of friends, children/young people, those with specific needs, learning difficulties, teenage parents, those leaving care etc

I will be advertising but appreciate word of mouth.

Please DM for further details.

Nymphomaniac or just enjoying life?

Fiona had loved her life so far and started thinking back. She was now 70 years young but to her it was just a number as it had always been!

Any regrets, well things she wished had not happened but these only made her the person she was. Things that could have changed her route were many, like the four chances she had to get married but could she have coped with that?                             She had had many partners and wondered what life would have been like if she had ‘settled down’ and did others, who had done, wished they’d been through different exploits?

Fiona had been very young when she first experienced a sexual relationship and the bloke was unaware. Fortunately he was kind and gentle so it was a loving experience and within a relationship. It didn’t last long but no-one settled down at that age.                                                                                                                        

 Now she had been introduced to sex she wanted more. In those days girls would be termed nymphomaniacs for wanting sex, usually by boys who needed girls to complete this exercise, unless gay. Through the years other terms were introduced like slapper or slag. These would be directed at girls and women but only if their exploits were known about. Fiona would never kiss and tell. Of course in the early days many of the boys knew each other and would talk.  One guy went for a walk with Fiona full of expectation but openly admitted his intent and stated he realised the rumours were not true and they walked back to the pub.

Fiona met many men in her life and yet many wanted to spend the rest of their life with her, she was either too young or as time went by felt this was not what she wanted.

She moved to many different places and made friends easily and always enjoyed male company. In the early days she learnt a lot and would later ensure where experience was lacking she would invoke excitement.                                                         

 Fiona was confident and knew she had a good body and used her eyes to entice. Men referred to them as ‘come to bed eyes’!

She was never afraid to try something new although nothing extreme. She tried many different places and not just around the house; in a shop, in cars, a hotel lounge, all very daring!                                                                                                                 

 Oh, the hotel lounge!  Now although most experiences were within relationships, even short ones, she had also had a number of one night stands.                                    She went with friends to a local hotel for late night drinks, in the days when the drinks flowed freely and most time was spent in a foggy haze. This was a hotel that often had ‘celebs’ staying there, although that terminology did not exist. Like when the Bay City Rollers stayed there and Fiona had to fight through the groupies to get to work. Well this night someone was singing in the basement bar ‘When a Child is Born’, she later wondered if it was actually Johnny Mathis but was far too drunk to know.                                                                                                                                                  She met a nice man during the evening and as everyone started to disperse her friends decided a skinny dip in the pool would round off the evening. Fiona intended to go too but as she followed through the lounge, the bloke she was with whisked her aside and they disappeared behind a sofa next to the wall.                                               One of her friends realised she was missing and decided to returned, she soon did an about turn when she found them in full copulation. Fiona had to hold back with any noise although the lounge was empty. She did wish she’d had time to go skinny dipping though!

Fiona was quite partial to having sex in the outdoors, sometimes due to circumstance but mainly out of choice, on a common, on the beach, a garden path and against a wall.                                                                                                                             

The beach experience. She had been at a party in a local village and had an amazing time, in fact she fancied the host, Simon, and took her chance with him as the party drew to a close, this would never lead to a relationship. She needed to get home and a friend of hers, Tony, was getting a taxi so they shared. As they reached the town the road paralleled the beach and he suggested they dismount there and she agreed. It was the early hours but quite a light night. They headed across the beach towards Fiona’s house when he took her hand and kissed her hard on the lips. She never knew he felt this way and he never knew how she would respond. No words were needed as they knew each other well and soon they were laid on the beach, not having sex but making love. This was the start of a long relationship. Tony was a lorry driver and away for weeks at a time, he understood she wouldn’t want to sit around waiting for him but asked her to be his partner when he came home, someone to wine and dine. Ironically during this time, although Fiona still had nights out, she stayed faithful. On one of his visits they went around a few pubs and ended up in one with live music. Fiona loved to dance and men loved to ask her. For the first time she witnessed the feelings Tony had for her as she returned from the dance floor to him asking if she was still going home with him. He had never shown his vulnerability until now, of course she was taking him home, wanting to make love, not have raw sex!                                He was so gentle and loving and considered her needs. Even after a night of drinking he caressed her body, her breasts, her stomach, her thighs, whilst kissing her neck, her ears, her lips as her hands explored his body too. He was hard and ready but waited until she was too. She raised herself on top of him and lowered herself onto his throbbing manhood. It would have been so easy to rush this especially as it was now obvious that Tony stayed faithful whilst he was away. Instead they took it slowly, changing positions and slowing the pace when he came close to releasing. The fact that they only saw each other on rare occasions made this extra special and they wanted it to last. Eventually both could resist it no longer as the pace quickened until they were both spent. Spooning into a cuddle to let sleep overtake them.

Oh the memories, yes she would always have her memories.

It became a bit of a habit, her friends becoming her lovers supposedly a better start for relationships but none lasted long.

One of these was with Chris. He had been part of her group of friends for ages and when she sprained her ankle and couldn’t walk. He was her knight in shining armour whisking her off on his motorbike as she wore one shoe and one slipper, to meet up with friends and not miss out.  He knew her for years and neither of them ever expected more. Then suddenly they were thrown together at a party where she needed to sleep over. They decided to share a bed as she had done this many times with male friends. Suddenly they were in each other’s arms, kissing, fondling and then thrusting. They were both shocked and the next day talked about giving the relationship a go. It wasn’t long before he moved in with her as they knew each other well. She also knew his family so no nasty surprises there. It lasted quite a long time but came to the point where it was no longer working. Although they both knew it, Chris was quite bitter, fuelled by his mother. The sad part was the end of a lovely friendship, but no regrets. In later years they chatted when they bumped into each other. He went on to marry a Filipino woman, as did another of Fiona’s ex, what did she do to them?

Another very good friend was Roger. He was an absolute gem and a gentleman. Fiona moved and short term lived with her parents in a large village. Although large most people knew each other and knew everyone’s business. Fiona used to go to the local pub playing darts and soon got to know people. She got asked to go to other pubs with them, to parties and the local disco. It was Roger who would offer her a lift. There was many a time after the Friday disco that everyone ended up at someone’s house and crashed there for the night. Roger was always there to take Fiona home, even when she’d crashed out with someone else. Eventually she found a bedsit but it was in the next town. No problem, Roger was happy to take her anywhere she wished.                                                                                                                                         Those discos were amazing and Fiona met many people there. One such was one of the doormen, formerly known as a bouncer. She knew how to flirt and always got in free when he was around. One night he asked her out and they went back to his house. He was funny he always had a hot water bottle heating his bed and liked his comforts. He was quite a bit older than Fiona and he amused her. This relationship didn’t last long but they stayed friends. Later Fiona felt Simon Cowell reminded her of him, a bit of a ‘mummy’s boy’.

Then there was the DJ who lived locally and they often ended the night back at his place. Roger witnessed all this but said nothing. Then one day out of the blue he asked her to marry him. They had never even kissed except a peck on the cheek and he said that he knew she wouldn’t want to be pinned down and she could continue with her relationships. Some would have jumped at the chance but she couldn’t do that to him, she was really shocked but flattered. They continued as friends and only lost touch when Fiona moved away. In the meantime he continued to chauffeur her around even when she moved into a flat in the same town and later to a house in a town closer to the village. He was there when things went wrong, a shoulder to cry on, even when he started a long term relationship. During that time when they were alone at a friend’s house, they made love. Although it was just the once it could never be deemed just sex because of the strong feelings he had for her and the love she had for him, she loved him but wasn’t in love with him and he was so tender. He shocked himself at his actions and stated he’d never done such a thing before and she knew this to be true as he was a gentleman.

Fiona went out with men her age as well as older and younger. She never had a particular type. It was always about their personality even though they were all good looking. Not the sort who know they’re good looking though.

She lived with a few partners and ironically only one of these was one of the four who proposed. All were before she was twenty five.

As she got older the relationships reduced, this was mainly due to circumstances and not being in situations where she could meet someone new.

But again she had her memories.

Back to the bedsit she had lived many years before. It was within a house full of men, ideal you would think but not so, especially when the bathroom needed cleaning!  Fiona only got to know two of the four. One lived on the same level and they shared a tiny kitchen. He had a long term girlfriend who annoyingly used her pots and pans. He was fine until he fell out with her and he spent an evening smashing milk bottles into the kitchen bin. Fiona found this scary and found solace with the guy downstairs. They had talked a lot and that evening she was explaining the uncomfortable situation and he invited her to his room. She had spent many a night listening to the orgasmic screams from the girls he brought back. They drank wine and ended up in bed together. Now she knew why they had screamed, she did too, the first time she had climaxed during penetration. How did he do that and why didn’t others. She reached such a height, somewhere she found hard to reach with anyone else. They spent a number of nights together after that with him often climbing the stairs to her room asking if she’d like to share a bottle of wine.

Then there was Neil. Fiona and he had a long term intermittent relationship. They split many times only to find their way back to each other. He was a gentle giant, very loving and kind. When they made love he always ensured he satisfied her first. They fell out over trifling things but were drawn like magnets back to each other over a number of years. When they first met he lived with his parents and Fiona with hers so they would lie on the path by the side of the house to have sex, sometimes cold and a little uncomfortable but always exciting with the added adrenalin rush that they might get caught. Later they had the luxury of a bed. Neil wasn’t that experienced but Fiona was able to change that. After all she had shown the way to two virgins in the past. One who openly asked her and another with whom she was with long-term.

Even older men were not all as experienced as Fiona and she was able to teach them a few things, enlarge their members when erect, more than they had experienced before and enable them to last hours including repeat penetrations within a short time.

Fiona’s sexual exploitations were always enjoyable and included indulging in oral sex, mild bondage, repeated copulation over many hours, sexual language and sexy lingerie with added excitement of varying positions and places.

Yes Fiona had enjoyed sex and missed it now. Yes there were sex toys but she could never imagine experiencing anything other than the real thing. How easy it was for men to go out, find someone and indulge in a night of sex. Fiona had been that girl but as she got older this was harder to achieve. Although there was a glimmer when she met a doorman in recent years that she often chatted to and he suggested they have sex together. Fiona was tempted and for a split second the excitement of such an act came rushing back but no, she no longer wanted that. A difficult situation as she knew she didn’t want a long term relationship and still wanted sex but maybe she wanted something in between.

Her memories kept her alert and she knew if she met someone now she would still engage in the same sexual intimacies although maybe not as often!

Vegetarian Christmas

I'm terrible at not weighing/measuring anything but just mixing an array of ingredients! For vegetarians at Xmas: Chestnuts Choice of nuts Fresh cranberries Oats or breadcrumbs (optional) Carrots Parsnips Puff pastry (optional) Roughly chop chestnuts & nuts and mix  in cranberries .... Use a little oats or breadcrumbs to bulk out if needed! Add small diced carrots & parsnips... For quicker cooking these can be pre cooked until soft but bitey!  Mix together... This should bind without an egg making it suitable for vegans! Tip into loaf tin & into oven .... About gas 5 & around 30 mins to finish cooking the veg & soften the cranberries. When cooked it may turn out to slice but is fine being spooned onto plate! The same mix can also be placed in rolled out puff pastry & sealed to make a Chestnut Wellington! Accompany with usual veg but cook potatoes in oil not fat etc Pigs in blankets can be achieved using vegetarian bacon wrapped round vegetarian ssusages..... Cook in separate dish to meat ones!  Happy Christmas x

Vegetarian recipes

Indian Many Indian recipes start with garlic & onions as a base but I've had to adapt due to family dislikes!  The great thing is there are no hard & fast rules.. If you like using set recipes it may be hard at first but 'free' cooking using trial & error & a variety of ingredients is far more adventurous & unless you write it down or memorise you never have the same meal twice!  So I'm going to give a basic recipe that can be adapted as you go along... It's about continuous tasting... If you like it then there are no hard & fast rules to combinations!    Samosa starters or to accompany ... Cook a mix of small diced carrot & potatoes & peas..... When cooked place small amount of oil in a pan & add 1/2 tsp each cumin, coriander & gara masala spices...cook out & add veg to coat ... If too thick add a little water.... Cut Filo pastry into squares.... Place small amount of mixture in & fold over twice to form a triangle!  Cook in oven to filo instructions... Don't forget ovens vary so check!  Saag Paneer with squash: A little oil into a pan onto medium heat & add spices ... Can mix & match but if new to using try tsp mustard seeds... When start popping add tsp each turmeric, cumin, coriander, Gara masala (there are different mixes of these so check label) ... Once used to these you can adjust to taste & try different combinations introducing others!  Cook out but be careful not to burn... Add grated or sliced  Ginger, garlic (if wanted) & fresh chilli... I usually use red & slice thinly ... The more you use the hotter it will be but don't drown the taste... I use about a quarter. Cut block paneer into cubes & add along with cubed butternut squash... Turn to coat then add a tin of tomatoes & break up the tomatoes for more juice! Cook out at a simmer.... Squash should be soft ....Add small amount of water if drying out.... add a couple of good handfuls of spinach & wilt down... Choose whether you still want it crunchy or completely cooked out like Saag Paneer in restaurants!  Whilst cooking put rice on to cook...place rice in pan & cover with cold water... Measure by placing finger in pan & filling to knuckle level... Bring to boil & simmer.... Should be cooked when water gone... Seems to even work for brown rice... You can make various rices... 2 easy ones are lemon & coconut... When cooked stir in fresh lemon juice & zest (avoid the pith).... When cooked stir in about 1/4 to 1/2 tin coconut milk dependant on amount of rice... Warm through! This can be served with Poppadums & any Indian breads... If you want to make these tweet for recipes. Accompany with a raita... Chop fresh mint & cucumber into yoghurt & mix Also chop fresh ripe Mango  Mango lassi (mango n yogurt) is a lovely cooling drink to accompany To complete the meal ... Gulab Jamun for dessert!  I usually buy ready made but am attempting to make over Xmas!!!  If Vegan replace paneer with potatoes or other vegetable of choice! This recipe can be used with mixed vegetables or just a couple of vegetables .... Your choice!  To make a creamier version you can add plain yoghurt close to the end of cooking or coconut milk added with the tin tomato for a different taste!  I've cooked themed nights with food from various nations... Great fun!  Japanese To accompany place ice, grated ginger & fresh mint in a jug and cover with elderflower... Ready made or use dilute with water to taste!  Make a salad of baby spinach leaves, sliced crisp lettuce and basil leaves Just before serving dress with a mix of olive oil,  lemon juice,  good quality balsamic vinegar & a few drops of sesame oil. Dang dang noodles: In each bowl place about 1/4 sliced red chilli, grated 1/2 clove of garlic & thumbnail of Ginger, a few dashes of soy sauce, a teaspoon of honey, chopped green of a spring onion and a drizzle of lime juice Cook egg noodles to pack instructions, drain & add to bowl sprinkle finely chopped White of the spring onion on top. Allow each person to coat with bowl ingredients at the table My Thai noodles: Mix a few dashes of Soy sauce, tsp honey,  drizzle of lime juice, the green of a spring onion... This amount is for one so bulk up dependant on amount of people!  Place sunflower oil in a pan add grated clove of garlic, thumbnail of grated Ginger, 1/4 of red chilli and White of a spring onion,  grilling cheese can be cubed and added too for a 'meatier' dish, a handful of beansprouts and handful of cashew nuts... Again this is for one so bulk up! Add the above Soy sauce mix. Cook out until cashews start to soften!  Cook egg noodles as packet instructions,  drain and drizzle over soy sauce & sesame oil add to above ingredients, mix & serve Prepare vegetables in advance as this needs cooking last to ensure crispness!  Break broccoli into small florettes, thinly slice courgette, aubergine  & sweet potato, dab on kitchen towel to remove moisture. Make a Tempura batter with flour & ice cold water.. Add water to plain flour a little at a time as mixture should be quite thick & lumpy! Add a little salt & pepper. Chopped herbs can be added at this point or sesame seeds or crushed peanuts but plain batter is fine. When noodles are almost cooked for above dishes put a pan of sunflower oil on to heat or use deep fat fryer... If using pan do not fill with more than half oil...  To test whether hot enough drop a little batter in & if it cooks immediately it's ready Dip vegetables one at a time in batter & drop into oil... Only do a few at a time or they will stick together & temperature of oil will reduce for cooking. If they float on top before light brown you may have to flip over... Once brown remove with slotted spoon onto kitchen paper to drain. Once all tempura veg are cooked the other dishes can be assembled & everything should be still hot! Apart from the Dang Dang Noodles present others in serving bowls so people can help themselves!  A good dessert to follow is simple mixed fruit salad (apricots,  grapes, cherries, blueberries,melon, mango pineapple) with crushed nuts sprinkled on top. Mix a squeeze of lemon & lime add a drizzle of honey & balsamic glaze mix & spoon over before serving!  Preparation is key... Bowls can be prepared in advance for Dang Dang Noodles... Salad can be done ready to dress, veg can be cut ready for tempura & this can be cooked whilst noodles & My Thai is cooking... Noodles can be drained & placed back in pan with lid on while tempura is cooking! 

Someone Precious

Today's blog was inspired by @ tearose68 and her blog 'Reasons to be Cheerful'. I don't often write/talk about myself, apart from food related, not even in real life! I'm known for being a listener so other people tend to unload themselves on me. I don't mind but having qualified in counselling am aware of the importance of being able to unload that burden elsewhere. So for me my rock is my daughter.  She is the one who has always been there to listen to my rants and ravings! As for Reasons to be Cheerful I can't think of a greater one.  I've delayed posting this blog but after last weekend there is even more reason. I've been really ill and Aisha has been nursemaid. Whilst feeling ill herself she has taken great care of me.  Once I was able to go downstairs I find more... I knew she had been washing and filling the dishwasher... But I walked into a vacuumed and dust free lounge with fresh throws on the futons, even a washed window and clean curtain,  then into a clean & tidy kitchen with bins emptied etc For those who feel this is a 'family' thing I don't agree... I know many who wouldn't do this! From the minute my daughter was born I was the happiest person alive.  I found being a single parent a blessing. I watched many couples confusing their children by not being consistent and using them as pawns when their relationship was rocky, I experienced this with my own parents. And yes I know there are great couples/parents out there doing a great job! Aisha always knew where she stood and I was there to comfort as well as chastise. Not that I had to do much of that. I don't know maybe I've been lucky but I believe our brilliant relationship is due to the fact that I have treated her as an equal. Comes from a background of 'children should be seen not heard' and have no opinion! Aisha & I have always talked about things at an appropriate level of understanding and made decisions together. No this did not equate to a spoilt brat but to an understanding of life, the value of money, non discrimination and I know she'd agree, in fact I'm asking her to read this before I post it!  I won't pretend it's been easy having to cope alone and initially on very little money. But the best things in life are free, it's about making use of them.  We spent the first few years of her life living by the coast. So we went on the beach a lot, picnicked in the park and supported all the local community activities.  There weren't nursery schools but we went to a mums & toddlers group and joined a swimming group. Many neighbours had children too so she was never isolated.  When she was two she was really ill and I was beside myself. This is when I lost my trust in doctors as I admitted her to hospital but she should have been there much sooner. I stayed with her and the nurses were amazing. In the opposite room there was a younger child suffering awful burns, I believe from a cup of tea/coffee who was alone....mum had the option to stay.  I've always found it hard to understand some mothers... as I've got older I've realised it's about the individual person rather than motherhood! When Aisha was three she joined a dancing class and was a natural. She exceeded her peers and progressed exceptionally!  In those days I was quite sylph like and in later years have realised that walking everywhere, climbing the hundreds of stairs and eventually dancing myself was exercise! At the time it was life. I didn't drive in those days and was healthier for it... daily fresh air!  As she got older she started school, joined Brownies and the swimming club.  Money was tight as I didn't work... Luckily I'm not a girly girl so buy clothes as needed not for fashion, have never worn much make up and am not very materialistic. I put together a lovely home though. I'd stopped smoking but still had nights out. Also I'm very handy so able to make things, decorate, DIY and garden. Also when living there I took a step further and grew vegetables, made wine, jam, pickles you name it I made it.  I never wanted Aisha to miss out as you can never recapture childhood!  I had a neighbour who admittedly had 4 children and little money but said that her two girls could not go to Brownies as she couldn't afford it... I believe it was 50p at the time.... priorities... she always had money to go out drinking!  I had some great friends but it was a few years before I even considered a boyfriend.... even then I only introduced Aisha when I felt things were getting serious. I hoped the broken relationships would never effect her and I always explained the situation.  At school she excelled being able to read & write before starting, you hear some schools discourage this but they welcomed it there. She was always very mature for her age and still is so lovely natured. She loved school and worked hard and always accepted my changing situations, like when I started work. She was a welcome addition for the child minder and helped with the younger children. We moved when she was still at primary school and she never once moaned about leaving her friends behind and her dancing. The summer before we left she was old enough to join the local Amateur Variety Association so we were both disheartened to find it was to stop due to loss of choreographer and producer. I offered my services as producer and the chairman found a new choreographer. That experience calls for a blog in itself. It was an amazing summer. We never did find another decent dance class. Aisha did join the local Brownies & we went swimming. She settled into her new school although she had to be given advanced work. There may be a National Curriculum but oh how this varies from place to place. Aisha made lots of new friends as that's the sort of person she is. I started work in education so I could spend the holidays with her. It was a struggle when we first moved as I had no work. Decorating etc went on hold so she could continue activities and we could go on holidays. We had some amazing holidays courtesy of the Family Rail Card that made travel much cheaper. Now when we pile up the car we wonder how we managed going on trains & buses but we did.  We holidayed across the UK in caravans, chalets, B&Bs and hotels with a few trips to Holland too and went away not only in summer but every half term. We even used to go away between Christmas & New Year usually to a cottage with a big log fire. This was made easier years later when I finally learnt to drive & got a car. Aisha then went to a performing arts college and had to work hard as all the lessons she missed for extra arts activities had to be completed in her own time.  She played a part in every yearly show  as well as being in the band and a separate dance group. She performed all over. Then on choosing her subjects she dropped the performing arts but continued in her dance group. We struggled for some time at that school for the correct academic level in some subjects and some teenagers would have given up. During this time I worked at the same school and colleagues knew Aisha, what a good person and student she was and continuously informed me to 'wait until she's a teenager'! I confidently told them she wouldn't change and they laughed! She never did, she never rebelled, never smoked, doesn't to this day like drink very much although she did and does go out but has never been horrendously drunk!  I can hear people saying ' I bet she got up to all sorts you never knew about' but that's just it she always had free reign and when I say we talk about everything believe me I mean everything!!!  She achieved all her GCSEs with high grades and came out top of that year. That year she also met her partner but didn't let it sway her, in fact she made him work harder! We had checked out two different sixth forms and she chose wisely, the one where she would be treated as an adult. Again she achieved well due to hard work. Aisha had to make the decision whether to pursue art or science excelling in both areas.  She completed work experience in an architect's office, even designed a light fitting and went out to sites with them but decided science was the way forward. At the end of year eleven we went to an open day at the university she had decided upon, then again the next year, by the end of the sixth form the lecturers were chatting like old friends. She still had to apply and to a number of other places but she achieved her grades and was accepted. I was so proud of her, she deserved this for all her hard work. This again was hard financially but we managed. Aisha loved it there and they were brilliant with the pastoral side too. I was happy she could still live at home! She completed a year and into her second one was taken ill. By this time I was onto my sixth job in education with flexible hours and holidays when I wanted fortunately. I was therefore able to spend a lot of time with her in hospital. It brought last time, when she was two, flooding back, it took me many years to talk about it as I'd nearly lost her! She took a year out from uni and recovered. Then back to it for her final two years.  During this time her partner moved in with us and as we were all out all day and all contributed to the mess so we all did our share. I taught him how to cook and bake and now his cakes are better than mine! He can also work a washing machine, dishwasher etc They started saving for a house, something I advised having rented many years myself before getting on the property ladder! Aisha initially wasn't sure which direction she would take but decided to teach so applied for the course and was accepted, more hard work.  As with everything she succeeded and now makes science fun for many young people. She seems to be loved by everyone, the kids even set up a face book page dedicated to her. After years of saving they fell lucky in the early part of house prices dropping and we all mucked in to get much of it decorated, carpeted etc before they moved.... Another new skill achieved by her partner!  Unfortunately soon after he lost his job but she coped with her strong confidence and high level of Emotional Intelligence!  He's working again now thankfully! Throughout this there has been times when I've been ill, at one point on a regular basis and she was there for me. Whether going for neighbours, calling family or cooking me meals. She cooked a full Sunday dinner at the age of nine!  So far she has achieved everything but she's strived for it. Her and her partner now have a beautiful house, a cat & a dog .... I'm just waiting for the 2 point 4  children!  We have an amazing relationship and although I still give advice, usually requested, I try not to interfere.  She has been there through all my moans & groans and we have both said that through discussion about my work it has given her a better understanding of SEN and behaviour enabling her to manage her classes well.  How ironic Aisha has just text me for advise while writing this! We see each other on a regular basis, go to glass class together and still holiday together too.  We text and speak every day and I can never imagine anything breaking the bond we have!  'Reasons to be Cheerful'! 

The Food Hospital

Seeing The Food Hospital has prompted me to blog. 
I'm not going to preach about being vegetarian or vegan only how many ailments can be remedied. 
I personally know someone who
was prescribed 3 inhalers, on stopping using cow's milk the inhalers were no longer needed. 
I personally know of someone with severe eczema who was on numerous tablets from their Dr .... Made no difference .... Stopped using cow's milk and no longer has it.... It flares up if excess cheese or chocolate is consumed!
For myself I  had stomach problems for years.... Diagnosed IBS & wanted to operate.... Stopped cow's milk and try to be wheat free.... No problems...If I have these as ingredients in ready made products I suffer the consequences!
Even cutting down or changing to soya milk, oat milk or rice milk can help. 
There is a good reason why dairy is an issue.... We are the only mammals who drink milk after being weaned and milk from another mammal.
We are constantly told what to eat & what not to eat  but this depends on individual diet... For instance as I rarely have processed food & don't cook with salt I have to add it on my food or my intake would be too low.... This was causing major cramps! 
Then there's chemicals.... We were never meant to have artificial additives and they are not necessary... Usually to enhance colour rather than accept natural colour or enhance shelf life! Many other countries do not have heart disease & cancers etc although as Western products are being introduced they are increasing... That's because many other countries eat fresh food. 
Of course these can contain chemicals through pesticides so it's about being aware about what you eat! 
Then there's chemicals in other products.... All the make up, creams, aftershave, deodorants, bath products etc etc
These don't just go on your skin but penetrate it... Absorbed by the body!
There are many natural products and I don't mean those that state they contain natural ingredients I mean those that are completely chemical free!
Everyone is entitled to live their life as they wish... Hence no preaching & yes I drink wine & beer & have take aways but in moderation! 
But it upsets me immensely when I see family & friends that I love dearly suffering when they don't need to! 

Oh yes I have got good genes so look younger than I am but if you saw the condition of my skin, the fact I have no wrinkles etc & no-one ever gets close to my age.... Must be doing something right! 

Just a footnote... I started seeing a naturopath because my doctor could not remedy an ailment....it was sorted within weeks! I'd also taken medication for another ailment for over 20 years... I no longer need to! 
It's not expensive to go but other cost is dependant on medication needed... All natural!
What price your health or your children's health???