Those who know me on Twitter know I blog about food, recipes and racy stories; however I was inspired by @crapteacher ‘s blog so here goes.
It was a refreshing change to read something that didn’t slate kids. Unfortunately the media continuously paints a horrific picture of our young people. Yes there are some things that happen that appear unforgiveable but it really is true that no child is born evil. Their behaviour may sometimes result in evil acts but usually due to some sort of mental illness, some of which there are no cures or therapies…the same for adults.
Working in education I had to read reports from schools for permanent exclusions and often found myself howling with laughter.
The first of many was when within a report one of the behaviours listed was a lad who had answered a teacher back in class, nothing unusual there but he commented in French in a French lesson. I wish I could remember what he said but it wasn’t exceptionally rude but obviously annoyed the teacher. This could have been turned around so easily into a positive response at the fact that he had enough knowledge to speak in French! Obviously this was not the sole reason for the permanent exclusion being sought!
There were many comical retorts I read over the years and I wish I’d written them down but there were the serious issues that could also have been avoided. The verbal exchanges that built up to be aggressive and even physical responses from staff; that resulted in the youngster being penalised.
If the young person had persistently caused problems and the school had rolled out many support strategies the reports favoured the school but they were few. Many problems could have been resolved either through support or if staff hadn’t been so obsessed with ‘winning’. The art is to come out on top showing you can be the bigger person often by giving options that make it appear it’s the choice of the youngster.
The media paints a bad picture of youngsters and yes it can be difficult for staff in school, I’ve been there but no-one speaks up about the staff treating youngsters badly, either through their attitude, lack of training or unable to cope.
I’ve had to talk to heads and governors about this treatment some of which is actually put on paper…..a court case waiting to happen. Everyone has this perception that discipline has been taken from schools and yes there is no longer corporal punishment but discipline comes from behaviour management. Unfortunately there are staff that ignore TEAM TEACH positive handling and think they can grab, push and man handle youngsters and there are schools that turn a blind eye or are happy to relay expecting no consequences with many negative behaviours escalated when staff can’t let go.
Youngsters go into ‘fight or flight’ mode, allow the ‘flight’ and avoid the ‘fight’ …this is the same for parents…another blog again as parental support has to begin at an early age. If it’s safe to let a youngster strop off then let them go…discussion can take place when both youngster and staff are calm or maybe through another staff member.
There is always a reason behind the behaviour, no not an excuse, a reason and it’s the behaviour that should be addressed especially in language that is used. Remember some of these youngsters spend hours at home being told they are ‘thick’, ‘stupid’, ‘worthless’ and ‘will amount to nothing’…sound bad well many staff use these phrases too. Get told enough that you’re ‘crap, bad, useless’ and that’s what you become. Domestic violence includes emotional abuse and I’m sure we all think that is horrific…so how is this any different…why do some believe youngsters can be used as ‘punching bags’?
When I roll out behaviour management the first thing I do is ask everyone to write down what they want out of life for their children or relatives’ children if they have none. What morals, values and ethics? When complete I ask if something happened to them and someone else brought up their children, what morals, values and ethics would they want that person to have. Well as corporate parent they are that other person and should have decent morals, values and ethics when these youngsters are in their care.
I realise some will think this fine in theory but I have spent years putting theory into practice and prevented many permanent and fixed term exclusions and ensured strategies are rolled out within the home too.
On a lighter note, when I worked in a performing arts school I witnessed some fabulous performances but not without issue. These young people chose to take performing arts and went through a rigorous interview process, parents too. Yet the times during costume rehearsals I heard youngsters whinging about what they had to wear…mainly young girls concerned what they would look like. These were supposed future actors, singers, dancers, etc who had to be reminded that in a theatre or show in ‘the real world’ would not be able to pick and choose.
There were some great theatre productions, musicals, dance and music extravaganzas that were held and I loved being a part of them….not as part of my job but as a mum.
Now I see the results with many prominent actors, singers, musicians and general performers who were former pupils.
Just remember media is about hype not truth and stereotyping and the problematic youngsters really are still the minority and never without reason.
